Aw, nuts! Like most veterinarians, Dr. Frank Grasse (shown here with his staff member's dog, Tangles) is proficient at taking testicles out of pets. With one of his earliest clients, however, the procedure was a little different.

The truck pulled into the parking lot and the rancher carried his dog into my clinic wrapped in his jacket. I had seen a few emergencies by then, and not all of them had turned out successfully, so I hoped I would be able to help the pet and send it home with its owner. I was nervous.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Grasse," I said in my most professional manner. The rancher placed his dog on the examining table still wrapped in his jacket.

My fears of abdominal rupture, broken ribs, and broken legs were immediately dismissed as I looked down on the most unusual injury I had seen up to that point. Jeb's testicles had ruptured through the scrotal sac. I realized with relief that this emergency would be simple; all I had to do was neuter Jeb and close the two scrotal injuries.

But before I could tell Mr. Richter my plan, the rancher tilted his cowboy hat off his forehead and fixed me with a grave look. "Doc," he said, "this here Jeb is my best working dog and I intend to use him for breeding. My friends can't wait to have a dog sired by this boy."

I looked closely at Mr. Richter's face, waiting for the smirk. It didn't appear.

"Mr. Richter," I replied, "as you can see, Jeb's testicles are lying on his abdomen and they're covered with dirt."

"Yep."

"But, Mr. Richter, what do you think I can do with this?" I was starting to panic.

"You're the doc. I expect you to put them back in."

"Back in?"

"Yep."

"But they're contaminated, and if I put them back in an infection could travel up the spermatic cord into the abdomen and he could end up with peritonitis. At the very least the testicles will probably abscess inside the scrotal sac, and even if all those things don't happen, I really doubt if he'll successfully breed."

"Oh."

"So surely you can see that the best option would be to neuter Jeb."

"You want to castrate my best working dog!"

"Well, yes. I mean, it would be the best thing to do. You can see that, can't you?"

"Nope."

I was pleading at this point. "But, Mr. Richter, what else can I do?"

Mr. Richter was clearly losing his patience with this young veterinarian. "I expect you to do your job, Doc. I expect you to put those nuts back where they belong."